Are you someone who needs to be inspired? Do you normally feel disappointed or bummed by others success, maybe even jealous?
There was a time I felt a twinge (or 10) of jealousy when I saw people succeed, especially when they were doing things that they love. I felt jealousy, but what I really was is depressed, struggling with my own demons in a bucket I couldn’t seem to get out of.
When others got out, I felt terrible about myself because I didn’t have the will, determination and strength to get out myself. My mind twisted my own self-disgust and caused me to be nothing short of a crab-pullin’ HATER.
Haters gonna hate – we’ve all heard that before. By WHY do haters hate? The same reason that crabs pull other crabs back down into the bucket. If they can’t succeed, they don’t want to see others succeed. It’s a dirty human trait that stems from envy, spite, and other feelings. We measure our success and happiness compared to that of others – if they succeed and we don’t, that has to mean we are failures, right? If others present as happy and positive, and we don’t feel that way our ourselves or our own lives, we can’t be happy for others happiness, right? (Answer is: NO)
Isn’t that sad? But… how true is it?
Like crabs in a bucket, we try to pull people back down, to stay in the bucket with us because watching them get out is too painful for ourselves. We can be so selfish as humans.
Don’t be that selfish crab.
Help lift others up and out of the bucket. Encourage them to climb to the top, and get out of the bucket. Encourage others to achieve. Celebrate with them when they do.
Don’t be that selfish crab.
The ultimate truth is whether others succeed or not, that has no effect on our immediate ability to succeed. We are in charge of our own destinies – the success of others is not in charge. Instead of pulling someone away from success, let it serve as a stepping stone. Connect deeply with those who succeed in a way you would like to. Let their journey serve as motivation and inspiration that success is possible for you, too! Learn from yearn for, and work at the same success, in whatever way YOU DEFINE success for your own life.
Here is an example:
I have been considering becoming a Beachbody Coach as well as a Life Coach for TWO ENTIRE YEARS. I have made some steps forward, but I have also made a few steps back. I am just past the starting line, but I never got very far. A friend and sorority sister of mine became a Beachbody Coach a little over two years ago (yes, recognize the correlation). She has encouraged me to join several times, but I have made excuses every time. Meanwhile, over those said two years, I have watched her FLOURISH and GROW personally and in her business. Watching that, I have only 2 choices:
- Be a jealous, crab pullin’ HATER
- Be inspired and motivated to follow her success-lead
How many of you would choose #1? If I had chose #1, I could have been jealous and have thought “damn! what if I would have started back then? Where could I be with my business? How much of a difference could I have made? How many clients that she has had could have been mine? (we have lots of mutual friends/connections). I could be bitter and shun her success and the entire journey she has been on. Where do you think that would lead me? Certainly NOT towards a positive and successful life. How miserable does being a crab pullin’ HATER sound?
Oh, but what if I chose #2? Well let me tell you what that would be like, because I have…
I am so inspired by her and others like her. I recognize their passion and how much joy working within that passion brings them. I want that! But, not at their expense. I want that, so I want to know how they did it! I want to use them as stepping stones and learn and absorb as much about their paths to passionate success as possible. I want to recreate that in my own life. What a better way to learn how but by being inspired by those whose path emulates the path I want to be on?! I am so thankful to know her and others like her, and when I am feeling down or losing that motivation spark, I turn to them and tune in. I regain my strength to press on from those who have been able to before me. And when I succeed, I can count on them to be proud of me, and give me a good ole fashion high-five (virtually, if necessary)!
High-five others for their success and allow them to high-five you back. Learn from the crab who escaped the bucket, and be motivated by their journey. Recreate it in a way that makes sense for you. You’ll get out of the bucket, too!
Be INSPIRED! Don’t be a crab pullin’ hater!