Are we really going to argue about pancakes & donuts?

Relationships are all about choices, even before breakfast on a Saturday!

Choices during Breakfast

Last night my husband joked about bringing home a dozen donuts after picking up his daughter Marley from a sleep over. I told him I would make a big breakfast. He joked again about the donuts, but I thought we were on the same big breakfast page.

This morning we woke before 8a. He went out to get Marley. I started making breakfast. Before he left, he lovingly requested the bacon to be fried by the time he got back. I was on it!

Bacon, eggs, pancakes, coffee and juices – I hustled to make sure they were all ready to grab and eat by the time they got home.

Who thinks he came home with donuts?

Well, they got home around 8:45a when I had just flipped the last pancake – low and behold, he had a box of a big dozen Dunkin donuts in his hand. I glared at him, hard, while holding the plate of pancakes for what seemed like a solid 60 seconds.

Husband: “What?! I told you I was getting donuts. All I asked for was bacon hunny.”

Me: “Yes, but I thought you were joking!”

H: “Um, no, I wasn’t… want a donut?”

Me: look of despise

H: “Are we really gonna argue about donuts?”

Here is where the choice comes in, and you really only have 2 options:

  1. Be pissed. You spent time and groceries making pancakes, cinnamon vanilla pancakes mind you. You made sure butter was softened for easy slathering. You put a spread of different types of syrups out for dousing the ‘cakes. There was a dozen pancakes, warm and ready. And now there was a dozen competing donuts. Ugh.


  1. Enjoy your breakfast. And, tell your husband to enjoy his. Hand him some bacon, pour him some coffee, and tell him to enjoy his donuts.

By the way, if you ask most 7 year olds what they want, donuts or pancakes, they will probably choose donuts, too – yep. I was eating pancakes, 12 of them, solo.

On the bright side, since Eggo and McDonald’s can freeze their pancakes, reheat and serve, why can’t I? I now have 4 servings of pancakes all to myself – 3 gladly eaten this morning (yum!), and 3 for 3 more mornings (yum x 3!).

Pancakes vs Donuts = pancake leftovers for me
Pancakes vs Donuts = pancake leftovers for me

I chose option 2. I thanked my husband for making sure I had breakfast for the next 3 mornings. I thanked him for the recently gifted griddle I used for the first time ever to make the pancakes. And, I ate my gourmet, homemade breakfast while they ate their donuts (and bacon). We all enjoyed our breakfast and we all enjoyed our morning. Subsequently, we went on to enjoying the entire weekend.

In the words of Mark Manson, author of “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck”,

In my life, I have given a f*ck about many things. I have also NOT given a f*ck about many things. And, like the road not taken, it was the f*ck not given that made all the difference.

How many of you could have used a not-gonna-give-a-f*ck attitude adjustment if you were faced with the pancake vs donut episode?

Bottom line: it’s a choice.

Simply decide: Are pancakes REALLY worth ruining your morning over? And, over time, are things like pancakes REALLY worth potentially ruining your relationship over altogether? I choose no (I choose hell no!). And, if you love your husband like I love mine, the choice will be the same for you, and it will be the easiest decision of the day.

I love my husband. I love my family. I am blessed beyond measure. Pancakes and donuts ain’t got nothing on love.

Pancakes/Donuts – 0; My marriage – 1.